From a Hollow Man

Without the lights,  it would just be a plain looking tree in a bare land of snow.

Without Your light, I would just be hollow man in a deserted world filled with troubles.

Thank you for shining Your light on such an unworthy child like me.

Thank you for filling my heart with Your incredible and unchanging love.

Fill my heart with your love and holy spirit.

Help me bold and stand firm in this trouble-filled world.

I've seen and I believe.

Let my heart never settle in my little comfort zone.

Let my heart always break for the sufferings and the pains of this world.

LOVE

I was made from love; made to love; and made to be loved.

Let this love overflow from my heart and reach out to others.

Father!

Let your light shine. Let your glory be revealed.

Let your will be done on this earth.

Let your love fill this earth. fill the hearts of those in need.

Christmas is coming!

Let my heart rejoice in truth and love with purity and sincerity.

"For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace"

Romans 8:6

소음

달렸다. 또 달렸다.

계속 달렸다.

그런데 너무 앞만 봤나보다.

다 끝나고 나서 한 숨 돌리고 나서야
느껴지는 공허함
답답함
허무함
그리고 두려움

지난날 노력하지 않은 것에 대한 후회인가
지난날 내게, 그리고 다른이들에게 한 모든 거짓됨에 대해 죄책감인가

두렵고 어떻게 해야할지를 모르겠어서
무조건 잘못했다고 한다
또 한번의 기회를 달라고 한다

나라는 인간은 왜 자꾸 똑같은 레퍼토리에서 벗어나질 못하는걸까
똑같은 굴레
뫼비우스의 굴레처럼 끝없이 반복하고 또 반복한다

나를 좀 더 난 사람으로
나를 좀 더 강한 사람으로
그렇게 계속 거짓으로 나를 포장해간다

이런 내가 무섭다

자꾸 내 자신에게 진다
점점 내 자신이 무섭다

생각이 많아진다
소음이 많아진다

어디선가 읽은 적이 있다.
To be saved cost us nothing..
To be discipled cost us everything.

마음이 무겁다.
계속 내 자신을 타이르고 또 타이르면서
여기까지 오긴 했는데...
자꾸 아기가 되어간다
내 자신의 짐을 이겨내지 못하고
자꾸 가라앉는다

그리고 또 생각한다
소음이 많아진다



정말 기도만하고 싶다.

Promise - Joshua 1:9

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed."
-1 Peter 4:12-13



Happy to share the sufferings of Christ.
Happy to know that He is drawing me near.
Happy to be humbled
Happy to have more of Him and less of me in my heart

 
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."
- Proverbs 16:9



Silencing all the noise in this world and within myself...
Because all there is left for me to do is to listen and read, and surrender to Your perfect will.

Until every part of my body and soul is purified with the blood of Christ, I will sing my heart out.
 
Just as you promised, just as you gave me Joshua 1:9 in the beginning of my journey in college...
 

 
"For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ."
- 2 Corinthians 1:5