"We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God’s purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite."
"We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself."
-Oswald Chambers
Special thanks to Jeshin unnie for sharing his quotes
Mid-year Report 2011
It's already the end of June.
I just realized half of a year has already passed and thought about how much I've changed compared to the beginning of 2011.
Unfortunately I'm at a age when I won't experience any physical growth (Just 3 more inches?).
Oh well, I've come to just accept myself as a short-legged asian girl. Move on! xP
I know I've changed and (hopefully)grown spiritually and mentally...
It's definitely not something new, but I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to write a mid-year "report" evaluating about the past 6 months.
Lots of things happened in the last 6 months,
so this list mainly consists of what I remember and of what I've recently realized.
Few changes I noticed about myself recently:
1. I'm becoming girly?
My dad has been recently ACTIVELY expressing his concerns about my tomboy-personality.
My mom used to not care as much as my dad did, but now she sometimes joins in.
He's been always a protective father type, but since I turned 20's, he's been talking about how the guys that I meet will most likely think about marriage, and blah blah blah, and therefore, I should be an attractive woman for my future husband? (Huh? what?)
Anyways, I didn't notice it, but it seems my parents' occassional nagging is finally working in me.
I (secretly?) enjoyed looking at blogs about fashion before. I used to just look at coordinations of different designs and colors though.
I now notices coordinations of accessories, shoes, hairstyle too? LOL
I don't think I significantly changed from before and act girly like a typical preppy girl...
but I admit that I've definitely gotten more interested in girly things like cooking, fashion, and other girly things(?).
I feel silly writing this. I think I might delete this post after few days. LOL
2. I've gotten stupid.
Since I've been away from school for 6 months and haven't done much of academic works(oops...),
I feel like I act loopy all the time.
I used to be silly when I'm tired, but now I'm JUST SILLY all the time, especially around my brother.
My brother told me, "You are embarassing..." and "I really think your IQ went down."
and now he doesn't listen to my advice, because I'm no longer a reliable, "somewhat smarter than he is" sister.
I am now stupider than I was before.
I'm very sad. I will be back after I cry a little bit in the corner.
3. Giving myself a chance(s) to think about other possibilities?
This pertains to what I want to be in the future/what I want to major in.
Frankly I haven't made any decision or changes yet, but I did find new intersts: sunday school and health policy.
I haven't really felt a strong conviction in neither of them yet though,
but I'm definitely look at them with an open mind unlike treating them as unthinkable possibilites.
4. I sleep too much.
I used to go to bed around 3 AM. Now I get tired when it's after midnight.
Yes, things have changed. I took a nap today, so I think I can stay up a little longer.
5. I can't speak English.
I speak English with Korean accents, but apparently my accent is stronger now.
People can still understand me though. sigh.
6. Jesus is not a religion.
Christianity isn't a label.
Being a christian is being in a relationship with Jesus Christ.
That is all I am going to say about this in this post.
These are all I can think of at the moment.
Few things haven't changed though:
1. I still have a love-and-hate relationship with the humanity (LOL)
2. I still love my hoodies and sweatpants. It's getting hot though. I miss my colorful hoodies!
3. I still am a bad cook.
4. I still have short hair.
5. I still am very forgetful (actually possibly gotten worse!)
I just realized half of a year has already passed and thought about how much I've changed compared to the beginning of 2011.
Unfortunately I'm at a age when I won't experience any physical growth (Just 3 more inches?).
Oh well, I've come to just accept myself as a short-legged asian girl. Move on! xP
I know I've changed and (hopefully)grown spiritually and mentally...
It's definitely not something new, but I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to write a mid-year "report" evaluating about the past 6 months.
Lots of things happened in the last 6 months,
so this list mainly consists of what I remember and of what I've recently realized.
Few changes I noticed about myself recently:
1. I'm becoming girly?
My dad has been recently ACTIVELY expressing his concerns about my tomboy-personality.
My mom used to not care as much as my dad did, but now she sometimes joins in.
He's been always a protective father type, but since I turned 20's, he's been talking about how the guys that I meet will most likely think about marriage, and blah blah blah, and therefore, I should be an attractive woman for my future husband? (Huh? what?)
Anyways, I didn't notice it, but it seems my parents' occassional nagging is finally working in me.
I (secretly?) enjoyed looking at blogs about fashion before. I used to just look at coordinations of different designs and colors though.
I now notices coordinations of accessories, shoes, hairstyle too? LOL
I don't think I significantly changed from before and act girly like a typical preppy girl...
but I admit that I've definitely gotten more interested in girly things like cooking, fashion, and other girly things(?).
I feel silly writing this. I think I might delete this post after few days. LOL
2. I've gotten stupid.
Since I've been away from school for 6 months and haven't done much of academic works(oops...),
I feel like I act loopy all the time.
I used to be silly when I'm tired, but now I'm JUST SILLY all the time, especially around my brother.
My brother told me, "You are embarassing..." and "I really think your IQ went down."
and now he doesn't listen to my advice, because I'm no longer a reliable, "somewhat smarter than he is" sister.
I am now stupider than I was before.
I'm very sad. I will be back after I cry a little bit in the corner.
3. Giving myself a chance(s) to think about other possibilities?
This pertains to what I want to be in the future/what I want to major in.
Frankly I haven't made any decision or changes yet, but I did find new intersts: sunday school and health policy.
I haven't really felt a strong conviction in neither of them yet though,
but I'm definitely look at them with an open mind unlike treating them as unthinkable possibilites.
4. I sleep too much.
I used to go to bed around 3 AM. Now I get tired when it's after midnight.
Yes, things have changed. I took a nap today, so I think I can stay up a little longer.
5. I can't speak English.
I speak English with Korean accents, but apparently my accent is stronger now.
People can still understand me though. sigh.
6. Jesus is not a religion.
Christianity isn't a label.
Being a christian is being in a relationship with Jesus Christ.
That is all I am going to say about this in this post.
These are all I can think of at the moment.
Few things haven't changed though:
1. I still have a love-and-hate relationship with the humanity (LOL)
2. I still love my hoodies and sweatpants. It's getting hot though. I miss my colorful hoodies!
3. I still am a bad cook.
4. I still have short hair.
5. I still am very forgetful (actually possibly gotten worse!)
Short-sightedness
About three months ago, I wrote a post, "Let Go", meditating on Deuteronomy Chapter 3 where God finally shows the Promised Land to Moses, but forbidden him from entering the land.
Brief Recap of "Let Go" post, my short-sighted meditation on chapter 3:
I wondered and thought about how Moses would've felt after all those years leading the stubborn, disobedient, and unfaithful Israelites.
I wrote about how it must have been devastating and upsetting for Moses, and how difficult it is to "let go" of our desires.
I finally read the last chapter of Deuteronomy and it really brought new perspective.
I realized the moment when he stood on the Mt. Nebo was probably the most beautiful and amazing moment in his life.
To use the direct quote from my QT devotional:
"Before Moses dies, the Lord shows him the Promised Land. It is more beautiful than he could have ever imagine dand it is the evidence of God's faithfulness to His people. It is also a hallmark moment fo rthe man of God, human in every sense of the word, but righteous and humble in the very best ways. What an awesome moment for Moses! No one knows what exactly happened on Mount Nebo, but we can imagine God showing Moses the land and telling him, 'well done, good and faithful servant.' It is a testament of a life well-lived." Living Life
My short-sightedness only focused so much on OUR selfish perspective;
I thought about how devastating it must have been for Moses to obey.
But I think for Moses, God's grace and faithfulness was sufficient, and he had set his eyes for the greater and higher things.
I'm not saying it was easy for Moses to just obey -again, we can only imagine;
but Moses knew that the peace and joy in obedience to God outweighs temporary worldly "satisfaction" you get from following selfish desires.
I focused on the sacrifices he made in obedience, but Moses focused on the joy in obedience.
I was short-sighted and only saw despair, but Moses saw the eternity and was joyful.
So many of us are short-sighted and look for sources of temporary success and happiness,
but Moses set his eyes on the eternity and marched forward in faith for the eternal prize in heaven.
Moses went from prince -> fugitive -> shepherd -> prophet.
He's had an EXTRAORDINARY life with many twists and turns, but his journey had an amazing end with God's providence and guidance.
It's important to note his spiritual growth in obedience and faithfulness even though all the glory goes to our Father in heaven.
"Since then, no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face, who did all those signs and wonders the Lord sent him to do in Egypt-to Pharaoh and to all his officials and to his whole land. For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel." Deuteronomy 34:9-12
Humbled. Challenged. Once Again.
Totally irrelevant to the content of this post:
*I used to find OT very difficult to read, but I started to enjoy reading the OT recently.
I can't wait 'til I finish the OT! I'm so excited.
**WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MAN!
I used to say this for fun last year... somehow I remembered that phrase while writing this post about Moses LOL.
Just throwing it out there. haha.
Brief Recap of "Let Go" post, my short-sighted meditation on chapter 3:
I wondered and thought about how Moses would've felt after all those years leading the stubborn, disobedient, and unfaithful Israelites.
I wrote about how it must have been devastating and upsetting for Moses, and how difficult it is to "let go" of our desires.
I finally read the last chapter of Deuteronomy and it really brought new perspective.
I realized the moment when he stood on the Mt. Nebo was probably the most beautiful and amazing moment in his life.
To use the direct quote from my QT devotional:
"Before Moses dies, the Lord shows him the Promised Land. It is more beautiful than he could have ever imagine dand it is the evidence of God's faithfulness to His people. It is also a hallmark moment fo rthe man of God, human in every sense of the word, but righteous and humble in the very best ways. What an awesome moment for Moses! No one knows what exactly happened on Mount Nebo, but we can imagine God showing Moses the land and telling him, 'well done, good and faithful servant.' It is a testament of a life well-lived." Living Life
My short-sightedness only focused so much on OUR selfish perspective;
I thought about how devastating it must have been for Moses to obey.
But I think for Moses, God's grace and faithfulness was sufficient, and he had set his eyes for the greater and higher things.
I'm not saying it was easy for Moses to just obey -again, we can only imagine;
but Moses knew that the peace and joy in obedience to God outweighs temporary worldly "satisfaction" you get from following selfish desires.
I focused on the sacrifices he made in obedience, but Moses focused on the joy in obedience.
I was short-sighted and only saw despair, but Moses saw the eternity and was joyful.
So many of us are short-sighted and look for sources of temporary success and happiness,
but Moses set his eyes on the eternity and marched forward in faith for the eternal prize in heaven.
Moses went from prince -> fugitive -> shepherd -> prophet.
He's had an EXTRAORDINARY life with many twists and turns, but his journey had an amazing end with God's providence and guidance.
It's important to note his spiritual growth in obedience and faithfulness even though all the glory goes to our Father in heaven.
"Since then, no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face, who did all those signs and wonders the Lord sent him to do in Egypt-to Pharaoh and to all his officials and to his whole land. For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel." Deuteronomy 34:9-12
Humbled. Challenged. Once Again.
Totally irrelevant to the content of this post:
*I used to find OT very difficult to read, but I started to enjoy reading the OT recently.
I can't wait 'til I finish the OT! I'm so excited.
**WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MAN!
I used to say this for fun last year... somehow I remembered that phrase while writing this post about Moses LOL.
Just throwing it out there. haha.
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