It's already the end of June.
I just realized half of a year has already passed and thought about how much I've changed compared to the beginning of 2011.
Unfortunately I'm at a age when I won't experience any physical growth (Just 3 more inches?).
Oh well, I've come to just accept myself as a short-legged asian girl. Move on! xP
I know I've changed and (hopefully)grown spiritually and mentally...
It's definitely not something new, but I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to write a mid-year "report" evaluating about the past 6 months.
Lots of things happened in the last 6 months,
so this list mainly consists of what I remember and of what I've recently realized.
Few changes I noticed about myself recently:
1. I'm becoming girly?
My dad has been recently ACTIVELY expressing his concerns about my tomboy-personality.
My mom used to not care as much as my dad did, but now she sometimes joins in.
He's been always a protective father type, but since I turned 20's, he's been talking about how the guys that I meet will most likely think about marriage, and blah blah blah, and therefore, I should be an attractive woman for my future husband? (Huh? what?)
Anyways, I didn't notice it, but it seems my parents' occassional nagging is finally working in me.
I (secretly?) enjoyed looking at blogs about fashion before. I used to just look at coordinations of different designs and colors though.
I now notices coordinations of accessories, shoes, hairstyle too? LOL
I don't think I significantly changed from before and act girly like a typical preppy girl...
but I admit that I've definitely gotten more interested in girly things like cooking, fashion, and other girly things(?).
I feel silly writing this. I think I might delete this post after few days. LOL
2. I've gotten stupid.
Since I've been away from school for 6 months and haven't done much of academic works(oops...),
I feel like I act loopy all the time.
I used to be silly when I'm tired, but now I'm JUST SILLY all the time, especially around my brother.
My brother told me, "You are embarassing..." and "I really think your IQ went down."
and now he doesn't listen to my advice, because I'm no longer a reliable, "somewhat smarter than he is" sister.
I am now stupider than I was before.
I'm very sad. I will be back after I cry a little bit in the corner.
3. Giving myself a chance(s) to think about other possibilities?
This pertains to what I want to be in the future/what I want to major in.
Frankly I haven't made any decision or changes yet, but I did find new intersts: sunday school and health policy.
I haven't really felt a strong conviction in neither of them yet though,
but I'm definitely look at them with an open mind unlike treating them as unthinkable possibilites.
4. I sleep too much.
I used to go to bed around 3 AM. Now I get tired when it's after midnight.
Yes, things have changed. I took a nap today, so I think I can stay up a little longer.
5. I can't speak English.
I speak English with Korean accents, but apparently my accent is stronger now.
People can still understand me though. sigh.
6. Jesus is not a religion.
Christianity isn't a label.
Being a christian is being in a relationship with Jesus Christ.
That is all I am going to say about this in this post.
These are all I can think of at the moment.
Few things haven't changed though:
1. I still have a love-and-hate relationship with the humanity (LOL)
2. I still love my hoodies and sweatpants. It's getting hot though. I miss my colorful hoodies!
3. I still am a bad cook.
4. I still have short hair.
5. I still am very forgetful (actually possibly gotten worse!)
Short-sightedness
About three months ago, I wrote a post, "Let Go", meditating on Deuteronomy Chapter 3 where God finally shows the Promised Land to Moses, but forbidden him from entering the land.
Brief Recap of "Let Go" post, my short-sighted meditation on chapter 3:
I wondered and thought about how Moses would've felt after all those years leading the stubborn, disobedient, and unfaithful Israelites.
I wrote about how it must have been devastating and upsetting for Moses, and how difficult it is to "let go" of our desires.
I finally read the last chapter of Deuteronomy and it really brought new perspective.
I realized the moment when he stood on the Mt. Nebo was probably the most beautiful and amazing moment in his life.
To use the direct quote from my QT devotional:
"Before Moses dies, the Lord shows him the Promised Land. It is more beautiful than he could have ever imagine dand it is the evidence of God's faithfulness to His people. It is also a hallmark moment fo rthe man of God, human in every sense of the word, but righteous and humble in the very best ways. What an awesome moment for Moses! No one knows what exactly happened on Mount Nebo, but we can imagine God showing Moses the land and telling him, 'well done, good and faithful servant.' It is a testament of a life well-lived." Living Life
My short-sightedness only focused so much on OUR selfish perspective;
I thought about how devastating it must have been for Moses to obey.
But I think for Moses, God's grace and faithfulness was sufficient, and he had set his eyes for the greater and higher things.
I'm not saying it was easy for Moses to just obey -again, we can only imagine;
but Moses knew that the peace and joy in obedience to God outweighs temporary worldly "satisfaction" you get from following selfish desires.
I focused on the sacrifices he made in obedience, but Moses focused on the joy in obedience.
I was short-sighted and only saw despair, but Moses saw the eternity and was joyful.
So many of us are short-sighted and look for sources of temporary success and happiness,
but Moses set his eyes on the eternity and marched forward in faith for the eternal prize in heaven.
Moses went from prince -> fugitive -> shepherd -> prophet.
He's had an EXTRAORDINARY life with many twists and turns, but his journey had an amazing end with God's providence and guidance.
It's important to note his spiritual growth in obedience and faithfulness even though all the glory goes to our Father in heaven.
"Since then, no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face, who did all those signs and wonders the Lord sent him to do in Egypt-to Pharaoh and to all his officials and to his whole land. For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel." Deuteronomy 34:9-12
Humbled. Challenged. Once Again.
Totally irrelevant to the content of this post:
*I used to find OT very difficult to read, but I started to enjoy reading the OT recently.
I can't wait 'til I finish the OT! I'm so excited.
**WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MAN!
I used to say this for fun last year... somehow I remembered that phrase while writing this post about Moses LOL.
Just throwing it out there. haha.
Brief Recap of "Let Go" post, my short-sighted meditation on chapter 3:
I wondered and thought about how Moses would've felt after all those years leading the stubborn, disobedient, and unfaithful Israelites.
I wrote about how it must have been devastating and upsetting for Moses, and how difficult it is to "let go" of our desires.
I finally read the last chapter of Deuteronomy and it really brought new perspective.
I realized the moment when he stood on the Mt. Nebo was probably the most beautiful and amazing moment in his life.
To use the direct quote from my QT devotional:
"Before Moses dies, the Lord shows him the Promised Land. It is more beautiful than he could have ever imagine dand it is the evidence of God's faithfulness to His people. It is also a hallmark moment fo rthe man of God, human in every sense of the word, but righteous and humble in the very best ways. What an awesome moment for Moses! No one knows what exactly happened on Mount Nebo, but we can imagine God showing Moses the land and telling him, 'well done, good and faithful servant.' It is a testament of a life well-lived." Living Life
My short-sightedness only focused so much on OUR selfish perspective;
I thought about how devastating it must have been for Moses to obey.
But I think for Moses, God's grace and faithfulness was sufficient, and he had set his eyes for the greater and higher things.
I'm not saying it was easy for Moses to just obey -again, we can only imagine;
but Moses knew that the peace and joy in obedience to God outweighs temporary worldly "satisfaction" you get from following selfish desires.
I focused on the sacrifices he made in obedience, but Moses focused on the joy in obedience.
I was short-sighted and only saw despair, but Moses saw the eternity and was joyful.
So many of us are short-sighted and look for sources of temporary success and happiness,
but Moses set his eyes on the eternity and marched forward in faith for the eternal prize in heaven.
Moses went from prince -> fugitive -> shepherd -> prophet.
He's had an EXTRAORDINARY life with many twists and turns, but his journey had an amazing end with God's providence and guidance.
It's important to note his spiritual growth in obedience and faithfulness even though all the glory goes to our Father in heaven.
"Since then, no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face, who did all those signs and wonders the Lord sent him to do in Egypt-to Pharaoh and to all his officials and to his whole land. For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel." Deuteronomy 34:9-12
Humbled. Challenged. Once Again.
Totally irrelevant to the content of this post:
*I used to find OT very difficult to read, but I started to enjoy reading the OT recently.
I can't wait 'til I finish the OT! I'm so excited.
**WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MAN!
I used to say this for fun last year... somehow I remembered that phrase while writing this post about Moses LOL.
Just throwing it out there. haha.
Nella Fantasia [In my Imagination]: Sung Bong Choi
His name is Sung Bong Choi.
As you can tell from the subtitles in the video, he's had an "extraordinary" life.
English translation of Italian lyrics of Nella Fantasia:
In my imagination I see a fair world,
Everyone lives in peace and in honesty there.
I dream of souls that are always free,
Like the clouds that fly,
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul.
In my imagination I see a bright world,
Even the night is less dark there.
I dream of souls that are always free,
Like clouds that fly.
In my imagination there exists a warm wind,
That breathes on the cities, like a friend.
I dream of souls that are always free,
Like clouds that fly,
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul.
I listened to him again as I read the translations.
I don't know if he knew... I'm not an expert on vocal, so I don't know if his technique is good.
But regardless his knowledge or skill, I think there was a story when he sang.
Song that his heart sang, wished to be heard and wished to tell, not just to others, but to himself as well.
I admire his strength in singing a song, lyrics of hope and dreams, despite the struggles he's had since his childhood.
He really puts many of us in shame and shows how unappreciative we are.
As my parents always prays, we are so fortunate family to have each other to love and to be loved, and to have a home where we can go back to.
However, we shouldn't think about our situation in comparison to his as if we have it better than he is in every aspect.
It is true that I am more fortunate than he is by the standard of societal happiness,
but I want to say he is richer than I am, because he has a more determined spirit, stronger heart with resilience that only experience can build, and countless blessings God gave him through many struggles in his life.
I think we all share the same sentiment about him, so that is probably why he is an inspiration for many rather than a subject of pity and sympathy.
As Sung Bong explained in his video, he passed the test for elementary and middle school education, and got into an art high school. In the original film, he actually explained that even though he went to an art high school, he couldn't get a proper private lessons for many reasons. The edited video, which I've posted, has a part when he explains he would go to classes and just listen.
Apparently after this show was aired, some people questioned the sincerity and the truth about what Sung Bong's story and pointed him as a liar.
The producers of the show explained and announced the public that it was the editing that created this confusion and decided to air the original uncut audition for Sung Bon Choi.
They ended with an apology and concern for Sung Bong that hope he's not hurt by this controversy.
I believe this controversy is somewhat resolved after the public announcement and apology from the producing team of the show, but there are still people who are skeptical and see Sung Bong as a liar who partnered up with the producers and made up a story for the ratings of the show.
I personally think this was all the producers of the show and think they should take more cautions in editing the film.
I hope this controversy will resolve and that he will continue on a pursuit of his passion.
I admire his courage to share about his life and to give himself a chance.
In Korean cheer, Fighting! Sung Bong Choi! 화이팅! 최성봉!
*I didn't realize that street gum-selling things like that isn't as common in America as it is in Korea (Well, it's not so common in Korea either, but people know what it is. One of my friend who is not familiar with Korea asked me that question, so I thought I would clarify).
To give you a quick example of what it's like: he is like a modern living Oliver Twist or the Little Match Girl.
It's not so much different from being a beggar.
They would sell a pack of gum for 10 cents near the subway stations, asking people to buy one.
There is not much story about him that's been publicly released (and I really hope the media wouldn't use him for such purpose),
so I can't provide anymore information than this.
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